And I really need to get to the gym, so I can continue to shrink my waist, and maybe shrink my hips sometime in the next century. Then I can wear smaller clothing and feel better about myself due to the western world's "need" to equate thinness with goodness.

...I'm really bad at lying in most cases, but somehow I can do so when I'm talking about job applications. That's one finely tuned sense of rejection.